The Somethingness of Being and Doing Nothing

It's been almost a month since last I blogged. I could lie and say that I have been keeping busy with things of importance, but the truth is I have been doing a plethora of nothing. However, I've come to realize that the last bit of the previous sentence is sort of impossible. You cannot have a plethora, or any other amount, of nothing. Nothing is an immeasurable thing. It is not even a thing; it is no thing, the absence of thing, thinglessness. My friend's daughter posted on her facebook that she too was doing nothing. To which I commented:

It is impossible to do nothing. Nothing is the absence of doing. Nothing is the absence of everything. Doing is related to being because you must be in order to do. You are being, in that you are, therefore you must be, thus you are a being. And if you are a being, then you are not nothing, and since you must be to do, then you are not doing nothing, which is a double negative proving the positive that you are doing something. Only one who is nothing can truly do nothing.

And that, in someway, makes sense to me, and sounds like truth, but it is not. For even though there are words here for you to read on this page, this screen, they mean nothing, and are nothing, except bullshit, which is something that would negate the nothing that I have attributed to what you are seeing, which would make sense since it is unlikely that you would be able to see nothing because nothing is not there and you cannot see something that is not there, or nothing, but it is all subjective, or objective, whichever applies or doesn't apply, all are welcome to apply, but none will be accepted. Nothingness, thinglessness, wordlessness. I will cease to write about this any further.

Because I haven't Blogged in a While

It's not that I've been too busy. It's not that I haven't had anything to write. Blogging is an evacuation of words from the mind, like shitting is an evacuation of feces from the body. So, in keeping with that analogy (Don't you like how the word "anal" is in the word "analogy"?), the reason I haven't been blogging is because I've been constipated, word wise. There are so many things inside me, so many words that I'm blocked. So this blog post, you might say, is sort of an enema, an attempt to clear out the blockage. To this end (end is another word associated with ass), here are a few words of which I really like the sound: gurney, meander, cretin, llama, beard, brewery (that word always makes me sound drunk when I say it, which is why I like it), phalanges, malcontent, curmudgeon, putrid, and discombobulate. That was fun. More word musings: I always thought the word infinity should be longer. It would make sense. I mean, I know it can't go on forever, which would be cool, making its spelling the literal meaning of it. Or maybe making it a palindrome would be a more practical way of giving it that literal effect, spelling it infinifni. For that matter, why isn't palindrome a palindrome? Are there any words that are the literal meaning of themselves? Like the word noun is a noun, but verb is a noun too, and that's just annoying. A gerund is a verb acting as a noun, and there are many nouns that lead dual lives as verbs, such as run or go, but I don't think there is a word for those words. I think that might be a paradox, but I'm not sure. So, instead of pondering further, I will just end this blog...if I had said that with an "ing" after it, I think it might have been a gerund.

The Doctors is a tv show, which is supposedly geared toward educating people in the area of personal health. It seems to be more like domestic terrorism aimed at the weak-minded, keeping them in line by scaring them with medical nightmares. Keep the people placated with junk science and medicated with junk treatments. There's no money in cures, and no market if everyone thinks they're healthy. This show spreads the idea that no one is healthy, and everyone could use a little bit of medicine of one kind or another. Disgusting.

Bring Me the Head of Kermit the Frog

Last night I dreamed that muppets were hunted to near-extinction for their fur. Frogs, pigs, bears, dogs, chickens, and whatevers were chased down in fields and shot. Their human operators lost their arms as well. It was revealed that Jim Henson and Frank Oz were actually puppets themselves, or more accurately, Humuppets, which are biological puppets operated by muppets. So, while we all thought Henson was making Kermit talk, wanting to believe that the frog was real, it turns out that Kermit was real, and was, in fact, controlling Henson. It also came to light that Kermit was not the amiable amphibian he made himself out to be. On the contrary, he was proved to be quite the tyrannical toad, ruling the other muppets with an iron webbed foot. With Piggy as his diabolical porcine concubine, this fascist frog was able to take over the minds of generations of children. And now, with this knowledge released to the world, I fear my life is in danger. The muppets that were hunted in my dream will come for me, empty me of my insides, and make me sing songs about the letter E.

Past the Pangs of Poison

Food poisoning is less dramatic when it occurs naturally, accidentally. I'd like to think that someone tried to poison me instead, and that now, I must be careful with my food. I must prepare my own. No fast food. No restaurants of any kind. But then, even what I buy in the market might have been tampered with. Grow my own food, yes. Raise chickens. A goat. Subsistence. It's all about survival.

Then again, I did lose five pounds on the poison diet.

The Hole I Dug

There’s a little grave inside of me.

Who’s buried there, no one can see.

The etching on the stone,

is worn to the bone.

There is no name or epitaph.

No date of birth or death.

It is an empty slate,

marking the life

of one who came and left.

But who? No one knows,

except a single rose,

laid upon the dirt.

It remembers the one

who once was loved,

and can no longer hurt.

Misanthrophile

Is it wrong to love misanthropic characters? It is true, they won't return your love, and, in fact, they will probably hate you for it. However, there is just something so appealing about someone who dislikes everyone. Maybe they are so attractive because of the possibility that you could be the one person they do like. After all, it is no great feat to be loved by a humanitarian, but to be even liked by a hater of everyone is something wondrous.