Bring Me the Head of Kermit the Frog

Last night I dreamed that muppets were hunted to near-extinction for their fur. Frogs, pigs, bears, dogs, chickens, and whatevers were chased down in fields and shot. Their human operators lost their arms as well. It was revealed that Jim Henson and Frank Oz were actually puppets themselves, or more accurately, Humuppets, which are biological puppets operated by muppets. So, while we all thought Henson was making Kermit talk, wanting to believe that the frog was real, it turns out that Kermit was real, and was, in fact, controlling Henson. It also came to light that Kermit was not the amiable amphibian he made himself out to be. On the contrary, he was proved to be quite the tyrannical toad, ruling the other muppets with an iron webbed foot. With Piggy as his diabolical porcine concubine, this fascist frog was able to take over the minds of generations of children. And now, with this knowledge released to the world, I fear my life is in danger. The muppets that were hunted in my dream will come for me, empty me of my insides, and make me sing songs about the letter E.