Because I haven't Blogged in a While

It's not that I've been too busy. It's not that I haven't had anything to write. Blogging is an evacuation of words from the mind, like shitting is an evacuation of feces from the body. So, in keeping with that analogy (Don't you like how the word "anal" is in the word "analogy"?), the reason I haven't been blogging is because I've been constipated, word wise. There are so many things inside me, so many words that I'm blocked. So this blog post, you might say, is sort of an enema, an attempt to clear out the blockage. To this end (end is another word associated with ass), here are a few words of which I really like the sound: gurney, meander, cretin, llama, beard, brewery (that word always makes me sound drunk when I say it, which is why I like it), phalanges, malcontent, curmudgeon, putrid, and discombobulate. That was fun. More word musings: I always thought the word infinity should be longer. It would make sense. I mean, I know it can't go on forever, which would be cool, making its spelling the literal meaning of it. Or maybe making it a palindrome would be a more practical way of giving it that literal effect, spelling it infinifni. For that matter, why isn't palindrome a palindrome? Are there any words that are the literal meaning of themselves? Like the word noun is a noun, but verb is a noun too, and that's just annoying. A gerund is a verb acting as a noun, and there are many nouns that lead dual lives as verbs, such as run or go, but I don't think there is a word for those words. I think that might be a paradox, but I'm not sure. So, instead of pondering further, I will just end this blog...if I had said that with an "ing" after it, I think it might have been a gerund.

The Doctors is a tv show, which is supposedly geared toward educating people in the area of personal health. It seems to be more like domestic terrorism aimed at the weak-minded, keeping them in line by scaring them with medical nightmares. Keep the people placated with junk science and medicated with junk treatments. There's no money in cures, and no market if everyone thinks they're healthy. This show spreads the idea that no one is healthy, and everyone could use a little bit of medicine of one kind or another. Disgusting.

Bring Me the Head of Kermit the Frog

Last night I dreamed that muppets were hunted to near-extinction for their fur. Frogs, pigs, bears, dogs, chickens, and whatevers were chased down in fields and shot. Their human operators lost their arms as well. It was revealed that Jim Henson and Frank Oz were actually puppets themselves, or more accurately, Humuppets, which are biological puppets operated by muppets. So, while we all thought Henson was making Kermit talk, wanting to believe that the frog was real, it turns out that Kermit was real, and was, in fact, controlling Henson. It also came to light that Kermit was not the amiable amphibian he made himself out to be. On the contrary, he was proved to be quite the tyrannical toad, ruling the other muppets with an iron webbed foot. With Piggy as his diabolical porcine concubine, this fascist frog was able to take over the minds of generations of children. And now, with this knowledge released to the world, I fear my life is in danger. The muppets that were hunted in my dream will come for me, empty me of my insides, and make me sing songs about the letter E.

Past the Pangs of Poison

Food poisoning is less dramatic when it occurs naturally, accidentally. I'd like to think that someone tried to poison me instead, and that now, I must be careful with my food. I must prepare my own. No fast food. No restaurants of any kind. But then, even what I buy in the market might have been tampered with. Grow my own food, yes. Raise chickens. A goat. Subsistence. It's all about survival.

Then again, I did lose five pounds on the poison diet.

The Hole I Dug

There’s a little grave inside of me.

Who’s buried there, no one can see.

The etching on the stone,

is worn to the bone.

There is no name or epitaph.

No date of birth or death.

It is an empty slate,

marking the life

of one who came and left.

But who? No one knows,

except a single rose,

laid upon the dirt.

It remembers the one

who once was loved,

and can no longer hurt.

Misanthrophile

Is it wrong to love misanthropic characters? It is true, they won't return your love, and, in fact, they will probably hate you for it. However, there is just something so appealing about someone who dislikes everyone. Maybe they are so attractive because of the possibility that you could be the one person they do like. After all, it is no great feat to be loved by a humanitarian, but to be even liked by a hater of everyone is something wondrous.

Amputation Is Not Cutting the Fat

Stony Brook University says that it must make "strategic cuts and streamline operations at its various locations." Trimming expenses to the amount of $55 million can be a harrowing task. However, it would behoove the university as a whole to spread those cutbacks out over the expanse of its holdings; rather than focus the reduction in one area. It is like an overweight man cutting off his leg to lose weight, rather than dieting to benefit the body as a whole. The man may weigh less, but he has lost a major part of his body and is now off balance. President Stanley argues that "we must be fiscally responsible and live within our means," but how can the students of Southampton, who have called this campus home for the last two years, be expected to live without any of the "means" necessary? How does shutting down a facility that houses many programs which are unavailable anywhere else, adhere to President Stanley's assertion that we must "not stray from the core elements of our missions of research and teaching;" especially when those programs are vital in the "research and teaching" of sustainable practices that may very well save our planet. This may only, as Stanley says, "impact a small number of students," only 500 or so (not to mention staff and faculty), but it seems such a large impact on such a "small number" is grotesquely disproportionate.

-quotes taken from an article by Lee Lutz at northshoreoflongisland.com